Aha! The beloved ‘frenamy’, a term derived from the cult classic Mean Girls: a mishmash between a friend and an enemy. A hater masked as a friend. We have all experienced these people.They appear to be your ride-or-die friend, but then, out of nowhere, they deliver a comment that cuts you like a knife.
Who’s had friends that…
- Make you think you look nice so they can look better than you?
- Be secretive about their fashion and beauty tips?
- Be fake and false
A word coined to emphasise this behaviour, inspired by the ‘jellyfish’ comments in Bridget Jones, is ‘negging’. A person who negsis someone who’s being manipulatively negative, coated in icing sugar.They pretend something looks nice on you when in fact they are laughing behind your back (just like Regina George in Mean Girls—if you know, you know!). Or they will accidently-on-purpose forget where they bought that sexy dress just so you can’t get it too. I’m afraid these people do exist.
Frenemy or enemy, can they ever change?
It’s probably worth keeping them as your friend since 99% of the time these people have more self-worth issues than most.Swallow it and accept them for who they are. They’re likely to have a deep-rooted insecurity that explains this kind of behaviour. Perhaps neglect as a child, jealousy, a need for constant attention, or narcissistic tendencies (please check out my page on the narcissist for more information).
Be a starfish, not a jellyfish- Blue ticks suggests:
- Take whatever they say with a pinch of salt
- Use your instinct; if it feels good and makes you happy trust it and strut your stuff
- Ask a sibling, your mum or someone who you totally trust; they will 100% tell you things as they are.
- If your grandparent will disapprove, trust them! Ditch that outfit and go put on something else babe
**If whatthis frenemy is saying is really upsetting stuff, just count to 10, take in 3 deep breaths, and as Taylor Swift says ‘shake it off’—let the haters hate **
A shout-out to my bestest for help on this.