As with other advice on The Blue Ticks, this is something I have learnt the hard way.
Please remember my mantra: Less Is More!
Finding the balance between ‘ice-cold’ and ‘as keen as mustard’ is a talent your need to work on. You’re so desperate to hear from the person you’re chatting to. You just want to hear that ‘ding’ and see their name pop up and that pang comes out to play.
The reality is this:You will never need to keep your cool if there is the right vibe between you. They should want to pick up the phone to see how you’re doing.
Tip 1 – Let it flow
Keep it natural, easy breezy.If they ask you how you are, respond kindly.Follow up with something you might be doing that day and ask them how they are. Think of it like a sandwich:
Bread 1 – I’m good thanks.
Filling – I went for a spin first thing and am off to the cinema later.
Bread 2 – How’s you?
Tip 2 – Be an adult
No one-worders, evenif you are annoyed with them for some reason. Anything like ‘k’, ‘fine’, or‘yep’ is alarm bells for ‘I have the hump with you, and I want you to ask me if I am OK.’ If you’re upset with them, still be polite. Perhaps say something like ‘I would like to have a chat with you.Let me know when you’re around to talk.’That’s mature. Please try to not message when you’re feeling too emotional—lock the phone away, make a cup of tea, and put on Friends.
Tip 3 – Don’t put your life on hold
If you really like them, please still stay busy doing other things! Having plans and being busy are attractive qualities, while being available 24/7 is bringing the Coleman’s to a whole new level! If they like you, they won’t go anywhere and will wait to see you a couple of days later (especially in the early days!).
If you have any more questions specific to the position you’re in, feel free to contact me in the Just ask Laura section.