The Blue Ticks’ No-Contact Rule—Words of Wisdom
#1.It is the hardest thing to stick to, and it’s horrid. It’s like everything in life: work hard to get the results you want.Wait for the clanger:You need to maintain no contact for a minimum of 28 days for this to (maybe) work. That means no calling, no texting, no emailing, no land-lining, no ‘accidental’ bumping into, no contacting their relatives. You need to go cold turkey.
Following this rule also gives you time and space, which will give you clarity. You may feel the pain eases off when you have no contact and realise you are independent enough to not dote on them 24/7. The temptation to message is undeniably tough;I failed numerous times. The one time when my ex did try to reach out, it did make me feel stronger and more confident. It’s the ‘less is more’ philosophy once again.
#2. Keep a diary/journal—it’s a safe place to go when you are feeling really miserable. I did it, and it worked. Months on, I look back at it and reflect, pause, and take a deep breath in and out, praising myself for how far I’ve come. Yep, there were times when I would write something like ‘re-kindled my friendship with Nick!’which lifted my spirits.
#3. Cliché moment:take on a new or old hobby. I found a love for baking cookies, quiche, banana breads, and Snickers brownies. I also upped my gym sessions, read more, and got in some wonderful flatmates and their adorable dog, DJ, who really helped with my healing.
#4. If they contact you out of the blue, your next actionreallydepends on what they are asking and ultimately if getting back with them is something you want. You know the difference between a LNL (‘late-night link’) and a genuine message to see how you are. My main piece of advice is to just not overthink it—again, less is more.And I am sorry, but they probably still don’t want to get back together with you. If they wanted you back, they would express that. Of course, if that is what they are requesting, then take it slow, meet up somewhere public, and do not go from zero to hero immediately. Be slow and cautious, look sexy, but do not be intimate with them immediately. I am going to say that again: go S L O W and be cautious!